Leading Worship...It's Not Scary...

Earlier this month our ALT group hosted an Advent by Candlelight worship and fellowship gathering. It was wonderful to see how much the Toledo community supports us and our mission.

It was during this event that I was asked to lead worship for the first time...alone...just me...I probably had that deer in the headlights look on my face. Granted I knew I wouldn't truly be alone. I would have the amazing band to assist me with the hymns and the loving congregation to help me if I forgot something. However all the information I knew escaped from my brain and was replaced with sounds of panic.

Looking back on that moment, there was a small part of me that was really excited, but didn't know how to show it. I do not know many people my age who have truly led a worship service without other adults freaking out the whole time. Worrying about misbehavior, something not being done the 'right way' or by golly forgetting something!  I could keep going, but I think I'll save my thoughts on young people leading worship for another post.

The service I was leading was the first Sunday of Christmas.

From my experience, the Sunday after Christmas is typically some rendition of a 'Lessons and Carols' service. The traditional service is a celebration of Jesus' birth beginning with readings Genesis and ending with the Gospel of John. Interspersed among the texts are hymns that aid the telling of the story. Every year public radio broadcasts King's College Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols live on Christmas Eve. However, in the States, this church service can easily turn into a hymn sing; a massively condensed service so the people can return home.

The service I was leading was neither of these; it was unique and spoke to the needs of those who came. Our focus for our time together in community can be summed up in this phrase, the light breaking into the darkness. This was shown through the songs sung, lessons read, and prayers spoken.

As I welcomed everyone to worship, my nerves were disappearing. The Hallelujah chorus was playing in my head! I was thinking thank you Jesus because I was standing in front of people speaking and nothing was shaking. Then came the opening prayer... 

We gathered together to hold hands and I was figuring out how to hold my bulletin in order to read it. Just as I took the hand of my neighbor, taking a breath to begin, my hand decides there is an earthquake. I am reading the prayer and my eyes are fixated on this out of control hand shaking. At some point though, the shaking stopped and never came back for the rest of the service.

Once the shakes were discontinued I was able to fully enjoy the worship service myself. I even preached without hiding behind a podium/lectern!

After the service, people came up to me saying how well I did and that they wanted me to come back soon. However, there is one comment that I will always treasure..."I could see and hear the Spirit working through you. It was just radiating."

While I may be the physical being preaching and conducting the service, it is not really me who is doing the work. It is the Spirit who gives me the words to speak. I feel blessed to have these opportunities to preach and lead service. I am thankful to be able to live out my vocation.

For a long time I thought that leading a worship service...by myself...would be a very scary thing. Now that I have actually led a service, I know that it's not that scary...maybe just a tiny bit ;)

The Little Drummer Boy - Sermon Dec. 27

1st Sunday of Christmas
Lessons: John 1:1-14
               Isaiah 9:1-7
               John 3:16-21

Growing up, one tradition my family had was watching all the holiday Christmas specials on TV. In fact it's something we still do. You are never too old to watch Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. However, there is on Christmas movie that is not played on TV which our family really enjoys, The Little Drummer Boy.

The movie is based on the beloved song with the same name. Its focus is on Aaron the drummer boy. He loves to play for his friends Samson - a donkey, Baabaa - a sheep, and Joshua - a camel. However, Aaron hates all people.

There was a time when Aaron was happy. The drum was a gift from his parents on his birthday. They loved each other very much. Then one night bandits came and while stealing the sheep, killed Aaron's parents and burned the house to the ground. This one act caused him to hate all of humanity.

Along the way a desert performer sees the animals dancing to Aaron's drum playing. Out of greed, the performer captures Aaron and his friends. Thus forcing them to entertain the people. After Aaron's first performance, he lashes out at the crowd. He despised their enjoyment and blamed them for his parents death. This causes the group to retreat to the desert.

While setting up camp for the night, the performer saw a caravan of Kings. These were the Three Wise Men who were following the star to worship the new born king.

Even though all are under the same sky, not everyone notices the beauty of this one star in the night sky with the message it holds. The performer is too blinded by his want for money and wealth to notice the star. He is focused on performing for the Kings and the money he knows he will receive. Aaron is too blinded by hatred to notice the star and the hope it brings. He is looking forward to never being around people ever again after this performance.

The desert performer attempts to put on a performance for the Wise Men, but they are uninterested since they are trying to reach the stars destination.

During this exchange, one of the caravan camels becomes too weak to travel. The desert performer takes this opportunity to bargain with them. They can have Joshua in exchange for gold. Once this bargain is struck, the Wise Men continue on their journey following the star.

Aaron is angry that Joshua was exchanged to the Kings without any regard for his feelings. He wants his friend back. Because of this Aaron, Samson and Baabaa decide to go find their friend. They do this by following the same star as the Wise Men.

Once they reach Bethlehem the group immediately finds their friend. As they are reuniting, in what should be a joyous occasion, Baabaa is hit by a chariot. Knowing that the Kings are wise, Aaron takes the badly injured sheep to the Wise Men for healing.

When Aaron approaches on of the Wise Men, he asks if they could please help his sheep. The man says he cannot for he is only a mortal, but there is another, a king among kings who could save him. The Wise man was speaking of baby Jesus who was lying in the manger. Aaron was confused as to how a little baby could possibly help. That is when the Wise Man tells him, "It is not necessary that you understand...Go! Look upon the new born King."

Aaron then slowly walks up to the manger. Not knowing what to give the little King, he decides to play his drum.

After he finished, as he stood looking at baby Jesus, he thought it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

As he walks away from the manger, Aaron tells the Wise Man, "There is something more about him, so much more." The Wise Man responds, "Your gift little drummer boy, given out of your desperation of a pure love is the one favored above all."

At that moment Baabaa is healed and runs into Aaron's arms. In that instant he felt pure joy for the first time since the death of his parents.

Aaron knew at last that the hatred he had carried was wrong.

As the movie reaches its conclusion, the camera pans up to the star of Bethlehem. The narrator concludes by saying, "Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God!"

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

This is the greatest and purest gift given to all humanity. All of creation celebrates the life and light of Christ.

God comes to us once again today. Christs light breaks through the chaos and darkness of our time. Christs light shines even in the midst of refugees fleeing from oppression and war. Christs light shines in each of us. Beckoning us to be the light in the darkness. Amen.

The Story of how I Received my First Preaching Gig

Today I preached for the first time.

It still is hard to comprehend, but I knew it was going to happen eventually. The whole thing took me by surprise.

Last month Melissa asked me if I would give an approximately 2 minute talk about ALT at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church. This is the congregation of family friend Jim Wicker. I said of course! Jim is great and it has been a while since I have heard him preach/lead worship.

Weeks passed since my conversation with Melissa, when I receive a Facebook message from Jim:

"Hi Elizabeth. Are you the one for sure coming to HT on the 29th? If so, I have a proposition. Would you like to bring the message and incorporate ALT into that? You could choose your own scripture. It is the 1st Sunday in Advent. I would just need to get a peek at the message a few days before ;)"

I was so surprised that I waited till the next day to respond (it felt more like a week).

Now that I had excepted the offer I needed to choose the scripture and then write the message. Many of the Lutheran churches in the Toledo area use the Narrative Lectionary. This particular lectionary takes a congregation from Creation through the early Christian church. The text appointed for today, November 29, was 2 Kings 22:1-10 (14-20); 23:1-3, which is about King Josiah and the finding of the book of the law.

To be honest, the first time I read this text I had no clue what was going on. I was going to use this text over the summer when I was leading bible study for a summer program, however I did not know how to translate it for 4 -15 year olds. Reading it again though, I had a better grasp of the message Josiah's story is giving. Mind you it helps that I have a study bible and thanks to the internet we have great resources like Working Preacher which helped me with settling on the theme of discovery.

For about a week and a half I listened to the podcast on Working Preacher like a crazy person. I wanted to soak up everything they had to say; every once in a while pausing and rewinding so I wouldn't miss a thing. I wanted my first sermon to be perfect so I needed to listen to podcast at least 2 to 3 times a day. This helped me to actually begin writing the words I wanted to say.

I am person who takes pride in everything that I do and because of that I am my worst critic. Throughout the process of writing my sermon, I kept thinking, "Does this even sound good? Is it flowing well? Well that transition is horrible." It felt like being back in college writing a paper for one of my classes. The difference being I had easy access to my Dad who read my sermon throughout the process and kept on encouraging me. I honestly don't know what I would do without him.

So this morning, as I walked up to the pulpit, I kept in my mind that everything was going to be okay. Before I began I took a deep breath and thought of all the people who were praying for me. Yes, for a good chunk of the message my hands were shaking, but that happens. Why do you think pulpits were made?!?!?! So that you could deliver a message to the congregation clearly while expressing your nerves through hand shaking or wobbly legs with nobody else knowing!

Once I finished and walked back to my seat, I felt like I was transported through time to when I was 9 years old; the first time I had read the lessons at church. When I was going back to my seat, I couldn't help but smile and there was no way to hide it. The same thing happened this morning. I hope that feeling never goes away.

wink emotico

Discovery: King Josiah and the 1st Sunday of Advent

Lesson: 2 Kings 22:1-20; 23:1-3

1st Sunday of Advent

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable to you, O Lord, our rock and our redeemer. Amen.

Discovery.

The dictionary defines the word as the act of finding or learning something for the first time.

Last March I discovered that I wanted to participate in a gap-year program.

I was attending a discernment retreat for those going into ministry. One of the people in attendance happened to be Pastor Josh Graber. Josh is the national director of Abundant Life Together (ALT for short) which is an intentional living-learning community for young adults between the ages of 18 and 25. After much discussion, at the end of the retreat, I decided to apply for ALT as preparation for Seminary. 

When Hilkiah is going around the temple, possibly observing the renovations, he discovers something. He finds the book of the law. This is the law that God gave to Moses for the people to follow once they reached the Promised Land. The news reaches King Josiah and through his hearing of scripture, he ushers in an age of renewal to the southern kingdom of Judah.

He does this by bringing Gods word back to the center of their life together as a community.

In this story, scripture, Gods word, is the greatest gift given.

Josiah is the most powerful person in the kingdom and he is standing under the authority of the word. He leads the people into a time of repentance and a time of renewing the covenant.

It had been 57 years since the people had heard of Gods promises. Josiah’s grandfather and father abandoned the Lord by erecting alters to false gods, practicing child sacrifice and defacing the Lords Temple in Jerusalem. They forgot the words spoken in Deuteronomy 6:

 “…take care that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of  the house of slavery. The Lord your God you shall fear; him you shall serve, and by his name alone you shall swear. Do not follow other gods, any of the gods of the peoples who are all around you, because the Lord your God, who is present with you, is a jealous God. The anger of the Lord your God would be kindled against you and he would destroy you from the face of the earth.”

Even though Gods people had forgotten Gods promise given in scripture; God preserved the scriptures allowing them to be found in Gods perfect time.

While I was in college, I was not really involved in a faith community. None of the college ministries on campus felt right. I would go to church with my family when I was home on a Sunday, but Sunday mornings looked different in my dorm room. I created my own practice of singing hymns, reading scripture and then reading my pastors sermon. This is how I nurtured my faith during college. However, I discovered that I missed being supported by a faith community. I have found this support in ALT.

Every week, as a cohort, we study scripture together. I look forward to bible study because 1. I don’t know what text will be our focus, 2. I enjoy finding out who will be leading the study and 3. I love that everyone interprets scripture differently. Earlier this month Pastor Julie Parsell led a study using 1 Samuel 16 when David is anointed king and Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. Through these texts we learned that the creator is still creating. He is working through us and in us. His work is never done.

Another way I have found support is through worship both in the downtown Toledo community and as an ALT community.

When we are Toledo I attend Threshold. From my first Sunday I felt welcomed and that my gifts were valued. I had sung harmonies for the songs that morning. During the sharing of the peace a member came over to say thank you. This feeling of welcome in the congregations we attend is something as an ALT community that we appreciate.

When worshiping together as ALT, our time together is often intimate. Most times it is my 5 compatriots, myself and Pastor Melissa. We gather around the word and the table. During that time you can feel the Holy Spirit moving in us and through us. It is a time in which many of us share our innermost thoughts and fears. I personally have not felt closer to a group of people than I do with the other ALT participants.

One way as a cohort we are discovering Toledo is through food and art.

There are many great local restaurants walking distance from our apartment. A place that we really enjoy is Home Slice Pizza on South Saint Clair Street. The crust is thin and they have something for everyone. I personally enjoy the potato pizza. The next time you are in downtown Toledo, check it out!

We have been enjoying the Toledo art scene. Every day we are immersed in art through the murals on the buildings and the architecture itself. A hidden gem of Toledo is the Toledo Museum of Art which all of us love to explore. The first time we went there as a group, we went to a glass blowing demonstration. Our instructor was very knowledgeable about glass and the studio glass movement. I enjoyed listening to him teach all while making a beautiful piece of art.

Discovery.

That is what the season of Advent is about. The season of preparation for Christ’s birth.

This Sunday marks the first Sunday of Advent.

What will you discover this Advent season?

Let us pray:

Spirit of love, who moves with creation, drawing the threads to color and design, life into life, you knit our true salvation: Come, work with us, and weave us into one.

Though we have frayed the fabric of your making, tearing away from all that you intend, yet to be whole, humanity is aching: Come, work with us, and weave us into one.

Great loom of God, where history is woven, you are the frame that holds us to the truth, Christ is the theme, the pattern you have given: Come, work with us, and weave us into one. Amen.

Life Transitions

Lately I've been thinking a lot about transitions.

As humans, it seems like we are constantly going through periods of transition. Whether it's from teen to adult, high school to college, changing jobs or careers, transitions are everywhere and it is something we cannot escape no matter how hard we may try. I find that transition periods give one time and space to embrace the change which is occurring. Sometimes (depending on the situation) you may not be excited in the beginning about the change going on, but when the excitement does come from the transitioning...it overflows like a fountain. 

Last fall I was preparing for graduation & life after college. I had been certain that I would be going onto Graduate School earning my Masters degree in either Historic Preservation or Museum Studies. During that summer and the previous semester I had been researching programs at some amazing schools, requesting information while also planning trips to visit some of the schools. This was my plan and I was sticking to it, however as the beginning of my final fall semester was approaching I was singing a different tune. 

The fact of the matter is, in college, there are not any courses that teach you what to do/how to live now that you have your degree. This is not high school; this is real life. It scared the shit out of me. While I was losing confidence in my plan, it created space for me to listen for God's voice and see where the Holy Spirit would lead me.

I came home one weekend in September to attend a close family friends service of ordination. He went into Seminary as a second career person who had spent most of his life being a doctor. The entire service was very moving and I was able to reunite with others. One part of the service which sticks out in my mind clearly was when our synods bishop spoke. He said something along the lines of pray for those who may be in this room right now and are considering the call to be a pastor. I turned my head and a friend was pointing right at me saying "He's talking about you." Right then all of my confusion about what to do after graduation disappeared. I know the path I have chosen isn't easy, but it is one I will enjoy. 

Skip ahead to this past March. I was fully engaged in preparing for Seminary with the hopes of starting school in August/September. One of the things my synod asks of potential Seminary students (no matter your chosen path of study) is to attend a discernment retreat weekend. It was during this time that I discovered I should take time to discern my chosen path and do some self-discovery.  

There was a presentation given about gap-year experiences which the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) recognizes. One of these programs is Abundant Life Together (ALT) which is for young adults between the ages of 18 - 25 who live and serve together in intentional community for 9 months. During the 9 months, participants live in intentional community by living and serving together. This includes participating in bible study, volunteering at different community program sites and learning about the city in which we live. Giving this presentation was Pastor Josh Graber who is the National director of ALT. I was blessed to be in conversation with him about potentially participating in the program and sent in my application soon after.

To be frank, transitions are so damn difficult no matter how much you are excited and/or looking forward to it. When I received my acceptance packet in the mail, it felt like I was receiving a letter from Hogwarts! But with that excitement there was also dread.

My mind kept saying: "How are you going to raise funds for this?" "You have student loans stupid! If you're lazy, the loan people will come after you!!!!" "What are people going to think of you?!?!" "You are literally a crazy person!"

That's when the sensible side of my mind kicked in and overpowered the freaking out side by saying: "You are one of the smartest 23 year-olds, not many would take a leap of faith like this." "Giving yourself time for growth and reflection is a wise life choice." "Who cares what others think!!!! This is your life own it." "Fight the stigmas and stereotypes associated with what others believe you are doing. Be a witness."

Myself and the other five (5) participants have been living together for a little over a month now. I feel that each of us knows it is alright to be vulnerable and show a side of ourselves we do not enjoy. In my opinion, vulnerability is an ever present component in times of transition. One is almost forced out of their comfort zone and encouraged to create a new support group.

I am blessed to have 5 new friends! I have been learning a lot about myself and growing for the better.

Everyday I thank God for this time to prepare for my Seminary transition. I already am beginning to feel that my next transition may not be as difficult...but who knows?!?! Ask me how I feel in June/July! hahaha

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If you would like to support me in my journey through ALT, prayer is always welcome and appreciated! If you feel inclined to support me financially, please visit gofund.me/elizabeth_altyear